So, the whole thing with separation and divorce is how to deal with...everything. For me, I need an ever changing list of distractions. My iPhone has been key. There are a ton of apps and games that have kept my ex-husband from getting a 2 a.m. phone call with a recap, of all my sacrifices and what a douchelord he is. Comedies (Not Romantic Comedies.) are key. I have also found that I must NOT know what is going on in the world. The news, politics, talk radio, periodicals, etc. - I just can't do it. Everything somehow leads back to "him". The foreign trade agreement that the United States has with China....will no doubt lead to me going on a rant about my ex-mother-in-law and how one sided I felt the relationship was. So I don't know what is going on in the world, it's better for everyone. One day I will be able to have an intelligent conversation, based on current events, but for now, I need to stay clear of anything that will get me going.
But now, almost a year after I left, I am doing better. I don't see him. I don't talk to him. Nor do I want to see him or talk to him. It's not that I feel like I would weaken in my resolve and want to get back together. I just don't like him or respect him, so we can't be friends.
In the meantime, I take classes, if I am invited to something, I am there. (Watching "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey is a must.) Trying to keep the faith that things will get better has been difficult. (Watching "Facing the Giants" is another must.) There are still moments where I form truly diabolical plans of destruction, but they are fewer and further in between. Baby Steps. Baby steps.
