i am (not) an entertainer

Have you ever noticed that everyone who remodels their house on  HGTV describes themself as an "entertainer".  These "entertainers" spend mounds of money on remodeling their homes so they can invite people over and "entertain" them (all the while spending more money).  I decided long ago that everyone can't be an entertainer, it is mathematically impossible.  In order to keep the universe in order, I have decided to be one of the "entertained".  I am a delightful guest and will always offer to bring a scrumptious dish.  (I completely understand the responsibility that comes with my position.)  This lifestyle choice is carried through at work and the design of my work space.  I am pretty chatty and can get a conversation going that I can't wrap up when I need to.  I start to think about the work that I need to do but I don't want to be rude to my work friends and cut them off. Then the A.D.D. kicks in and I can't listen to what is being said and I can't fully concentrate on planning what work I should do.  I am sure I look like a skittish squirrel when all this is going on.

I have a couple of self imposed regulations that somewhat help with controlling my social based distractions.  First, my office space is the size of a postage stamp and if I was surrounded by barbed wire, it would also be in violation of the Geneva Convention.  Don't get me wrong, I love my little bento box office. I have the best view, out of my entire office, from the window that is right next to my desk.  My desk is also hidden around a corner, so (in theory) nobody can sneak up behind me and see confidential information on my computer or desk top.  I also don't have a real seating area for guests, even the floor space is limited and uncomfortable.  With that said,  people still stop by and aren't so slick with their nosy behavior.

These retractable bands make a friendly, clear boundary and are under $20.  There are about eight different designs, with varying messages that can be chosen from, but they also offer customizable bands. "Thanks for Stopping By - Try Again Later" "Shh.....Make a Quick U-Turn and It Will Be Like This Never Happened" and "Cross This Line and It Will Hurt You More Than It Will Hurt Me" are all possibilities.  They might be a smidge harsh and I might just have to stick with the smiley zipper faced "Don't Disturb" band. (I can also use a combination of sayings, the band cartridges are interchangeable.)

downward facing dork

So a couple of weeks ago (at work) my friend's neck started to hurt. Since I am the WebMD and a Know-It-All I decided that my vast yoga experience (from a few yoga classes taken at my local 24 Hour Fitness) needed to be drawn upon and I should show her a few poses. I got up and we had a two person yoga class going in my office. Little did I know (or think) that people would walk past the open door and the sight of me with my butt in the air would cause anyone to stop and stare. Well, they did. Even better I was wearing a pair of spanx (that peeked out between my shirt and waistband)to make it even more of a spectacle. Then an audience member asked in a very loud voice that echoed down the hallway, "What are you wearing? A leotard?". Next time I will forward a link to this website and perform the pose "quietly sitting dork" at my desk.

www.yogasite.com

keep it cute or keep it mute

email. ichat. texting. phone calls. cell phone calls. All the things that are supposed to make me more efficient and easy to reach, really make me more stressed out and busy. The sound of my cell phone ringing stresses me out. In between remembering all the things that I need to review and then respond to, I don't feel like I can get anything done. Or I forget what I am supposed to do, said I would do, respond to or uhmm, what was I saying.....? Anyhow, this new program (kukoo.com) is supposed to help with email keep my email inbox organized and keep my stress to a minimum (or at least stress related to my emails). (As we speak I have 2883 unread messages in my inbox. Totally out of control.)

Office Supplies

I spend at least 40 hours a week at work.  I love where I work it. I have the is best dysfunctional relationships with my co-workers/pseudo-siblings.  Since I spend so much time at the work, I thought that I should get a few things to make my office more homey. 

It gets pretty cold in my office, either from the air conditioning in the summer or from the wall of windows in the winter.  I was able to find two very attractive options.  The first is a loverly Slanket - which is available in the very feminine color of pink. (I meant to say "loverly".) The second is a usb powered heated shawl.  I wish they could make a usb powered heated Slanket with a retractable 40 ft. long usb cord, so that I could freely roam the halls.  A large pocket or pouch would also be nice; just large enough to hold a pad of paper and maybe a granola bar.

I don't like using the red,disposable plastic cups at work.  I feel like I am tailgating with vodka (i.e. "water") in my party cup, while I walk around the office .  Then there is the guilty feeling when I throw the cup away, even if it goes in the recycling bin.  I do have a really cute mug that I use but I am always afraid that I will knock it over, causing a spill that will short circuit my computer.  This mug looks like a disposable paper coffee cup but is double walled porcelain and has a silicone lid that will keep my "water" from spilling all over my desk.  

I think that the cardboard rhino bust will add a bit of cozy comfort to my office.  Since I am married to a baby rhino, it will also remind me of my family.  (I am not really married to a rhino, but my husband is a large, sturdy fellow.)

Since I am the Human Resources Manager, it is essential that I am clear in all of my communications with the employees and supervisors.  As they say, "A picture is worth a thousand words." and "Actions speak louder than words."  These stickers merge both sayings in a clear and professional way, I think.  After all, communication is key.  

I don't think that I have ever brought a sandwich to work for lunch, but if I ever do I think these sandwich bags are the way to go.  The phony mold that is printed on the bags will keep my sandwich in pristine condition and ensure the safety and/or happiness of those around me. (I won't have to do any interrogations to find the sandwich thief.)

Candy is a friendly and innocent way to lure unsuspecting people into my lair.  I thought this candy dish is a cute and safe option, rather than a mason jar with a silicone sealed lid that somebody will inevitably pull off with so much vigor that it will fly out of their hands and shatter my computer screen.