Uhm (not Ohm)

Last year I went to a meditation retreat with a friend.  Other than hairy armpits and the all angry hippies bitterly searching for peace it was really great.  I never thought that I could meditate.  Every time I tried to meditate I would start making a To Do list in my head, after a few seconds I would get up, get a pad of paper and start writing things down.  I started meditating a couple of times a week and had the best To Do lists ever.  They were color coded and had check boxes. My bliss only lasted so long before I decided that I should really try meditating and not what it turned into, quiet list making. 

Anyhow, I went to the retreat and I was able to meditate.  There was one meditation session that lasted about 20 minutes but it seemed like time stood still and only a few seconds passed.  (I was not asleep.)   Afterwards, I was more relaxed, had more energy and was able to focus so much easier than usual.  I need to continue meditating at home on the regular basis.  Ideally I would like to have a meditation corner that is set aside from everything else in my house.  The first problem is, where will I find this serene corner in my house?  I suppose if I put the laundry away it would open up some space. (A meditation chair would be great but I think I need to stick with it a while before I make a purchase.

Reconsidering how I approached meditation was helpful.  The first step was erasing the thought that I can't meditate.  "There's too much noise in my head that will not allow me to meditate." "It is boring."  But, it isn't like staring at a wall in a quiet room.  "I don't have the time."  Lack of time is my favorite excuse but, every single day I am able to carve enough time out to talk about things that really irritate me.  Maybe if I used that time to meditate, fewer things would irritate me, consequently, I would have less to complain about and more time to meditate, among other things. 

The replacement approach started with these thoughts:

-Let go of any "If only I...had, did, didn't, etc."

-Stop fighting the battle about what was supposed to have been.

-Everyone is a paradox. Full of contradictions. A hypocrite. Enjoy everyone including yourself. We are all God's creations.  All unique and special. (All and everyone includes me.)

To meditate, I sat down in a relaxed position and did the following:

-Relaxing my body from the top - down

-Feeling and hearing my breath, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.  (Just doing this step and tuning other noises out was a giant step.  Obviously, I still heard what is going on around me, but I would reset and start over again, so it wouldn't become a major distraction.)

After settling in I would think about these thoughts or focus on these sounds:

"If you put a tablespoon of salt in a cup of water the water tastes salty.  If you put it in a lake you hardly taste any salt at all.  Make your mind and spirit so large and vast that everything becomes small.  Nothing will have an effect.  Peace."

or

"Breathing in I calm the body, breathing out I calm the mind."

or

Listening and concentrating on the sounds around me.  

(I have used a mediation bowl, a sound machine and music.)

Now, I just need start.  

How To Do Awareness Meditation

Just Say Om (Time Magazine)

How To Meditate (Realage.com)

It's A Whole New World

My daughter is preparing to enter high school this fall and this time is stressful to say the least.  I am not overwhelmed by what seems to be a rapid evolution from childhood to young adulthood.  Every year seems to pass more quickly than the last and I am sure that we will be at her high school graduation in what will seem like only a few months from now. 

She (and her brother) must go to college, I don't really care what they study but I think they need a degree as a safety net and the time they spend in college is a valuable opportunity for them to explore the world, different ideas, cultures, etc.  I believe and hope that being well rounded, well read, intellectually curious and socially capable people will help them be successful and happy adults.  That is my goal for them at least.  

In the meantime, I purchase every college application and ranking guide that is published and have discussed their interests and how those interests can be translated in to a profession with them.  Our lives are filled with other things but I am raising adults not (perpetual) children. Childhood should be enjoyed but it such a short span of their lives and is the foundation that the rest of their lives are built upon.  

There are a couple of things that I came across that have given me pause in what I have told them.  The world seems to be positioned on quicksand and is changing in nuanced but substantial ways.  I guess I can only do my best and leave the rest for them to work out with their therapists (that they will undoubtably need to make sense of my help).

Sources of Disturbance:

The May 25, 2009 edition of Time Magazine's cover story titled "The Future of Work" ("Throw away the briefcase: you're not going to the office. You can kiss your benefits goodbye too.  And your new boss won't look much like your old one. There's no longer a ladder, and you may never get to retire, but there's a world of opportunity if you figure out a new path.")  Whew!  After reading the title I thought I might need to move into a tent city that has free wi-fi.  The article is somewhat comforting and offers suggestions on how to maneuver through.........everything.

"Born Digital: Understanding the First Generation of Digital Natives" by John Palfrey discusses the significant divide between baby boomers and those born in 1980 and after (the digital natives).  The greatness of the divide isn't only attributed to normal generational differences but to pervasive use of technology and all that it has brought with it for the younger generation.