The Bitter Side of the Bed

I didn't wake up on the wrong side of the bed. I woke up on the bitter side.  I was sleeping, one of my most favorite things.  Only to be stirred awake by the sound of cartoons downstairs and my dog staring me down. (Yes, staring does have a sound.  She is a mastiff and when she stares she huffs and flaps her wing-like lips.) One would think that the person who turned on the cartoons downstairs could have let the dog out on their way to the television, but this is all theoretical and my imagination gone wild.  So, I get up and let the dog out.  On my way downstairs, in the glow of the morning sun I  see EVERYTHING.  The shoes on the floor, the crumbs and dust on all the flat surfaces, the permanent impression of a butt on the sofa, a collection of dog hair, dust bunnies, twist ties, ends of straw wrappers, etc. on the floor.  You see where I am going with this.  

I went back to work about 8 months ago, after staying home with my children the previous 7 years.  I would like to come back home and be a preventative measure against all the atrocities listed above. (I did enjoy staying home with "them", volunteering , etc.)  Maybe that will happen soon.  Since returning to work my two children (of adult size and food consumption level) and husband have been taking care of the house.  I regularly hear about things being washed, wiped and mopped. Yet what I saw this morning disputes these reports.  Clearly their proclomations are also theoretical and their imaginations gone wild.  

Long story long......I went on a mini sweeping and cleaning spree.  Got myself all wound up.  Fantasized about sleep and living in a small cottage where I would be able to put something down, return to the same spot and find it exactly where I left it, food would be consumed at a normal rate, television shows that I have set to record actually record, a place where the messes I clean up are only my own.  A place that is comfy and fluffy with books and only wonderful odors.  A place where I could have as many shoes, body scrubs and eyeshadows as I want and not be mocked.  This is clearly a fantasy.  Maybe I will go back to sleep for a bit and try getting up on the better side of the bed. We'll see.