How did I get here?

"How did I get here?"  This has been a recurring question for the last few years.  At 18 I had my daughter and was a married (to her father) homeowner with a second child by 22.  My focus has been to make sure that my children don't become part of the teenage mother statistic. My husband and I have accomplished just that; our children are kind, compassionate, well-mannered and get good grades.  

Don't get me wrong I love my husband and children.  I am thankful for everything that we have and all our blessings. But, now that I am here I wonder....How did I get here? What is my calling? What is my passion? If I ignored everyone's expectations of me, who and what would I be?  As the oldest child I was expected to be a good example and helpful. As the oldest child of "old school" parents I was expected to be perfect.  I needed to be nice, kind and polite.  I needed to do whatever possible to make others comfortable and happy.  That means making myself invisible, quiet and dependable.  Like a robot.  I am tired of being a robot.  Robots don't require anything but routine maintenance, like a lawnmower.

My plan is to merge everything that I am now and was before together. My thought is that by blogging my random thoughts and interests I will be able to see things in "black & white" and figure things out.  Any feedback (be nice) is welcome.