just add water

I have been so puffy this week or at least, puffier than usual. I put on my fat jeans and it was even more disappointing than usual. It looked like all the circulation to my lower extremities was being totally cut off. To help, I put on a pair of spanx and nearly crushed all my internal organs. I shimmied over to the scale and I saw that I had lost a few pounds since the last time I checked. I didn't understand what was happening until I peered through my tear filled eyes at the calendar and registered what was going on. Apparently through osmosis I was able to pull all the moisture out of the air and retain it under my skin. So for maximum comfort and ideal blood circulation I went off to work in a dress that was loose and flowey. (Although, my friend was kind enough to let me know I looked like giant baby.)

Perhaps I have an answer for the future with this outfit. It is all black; so chic and slimming. The addition of the necklace will draw the eye upward and away from my water balloon body. Also, the pants have some much appreciated stretching ability. That is all I can ask for during such hard times.

1. mother of pearl necklace
2. tipping scales shirt (that's the real name of the shirt - so irritating)
3. bit of stretch capri