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the road to hell is lined with horrible outfits

I didn't catch onto "Sex in the City" until the second to the last season. One major reason that I avoided watching the show early on were the outfits that Carrie Bradshaw wore. They were so ugly and never color coordinated. Many of the individual pieces were nice but when put together she looked like a drug-den mother at a clown training academy. I like SJP as an actress and she seems lovely during her interviews. (I love the way that Charlotte dressed and I understand that the costuming was reflective of the characters and not the talent of Patricia Field.) But C.B.'s outfits were horrid. The blind love of her outfits by seemingly normal people was truly astounding.

Now we are left with the after effect of C.B. & S.I.T.C.
Grown women are now fluttering around the streets of America dressed as emaciated hobos. These horrible fashion decisions are reinforced by fashion magazines and websites. These pictures were featured on Elle's website under the title "Street Chic" and I think, prove my point.

mouth wide shut

I started reading The Omnivores Dilemma last year (about 7 books ago) and what I read before my eventual distraction was interesting enough to make me think twice about what has to happen before food that I buy makes it to my local grocery store. A few times a year I become a (temporary) vegetarian until I crack under the pressure of chicken or a cheeseburger. Now there is a movie coming out, Food Inc. I want to see it and I don't. Willful ignorance. About the film:

In Food, Inc., filmmaker Robert Kenner lifts the veil on our nation's food industry, exposing the highly mechanized underbelly that has been hidden from the American consumer with the consent of our government's regulatory agencies, USDA and FDA. Our nation's food supply is now controlled by a handful of corporations that often put profit ahead of consumer health, the livelihood of the American farmer, the safety of workers and our own environment. We have bigger-breasted chickens, the perfect pork chop, herbicide-resistant soybean seeds, even tomatoes that won't go bad, but we also have new strains of E. coli—the harmful bacteria that causes illness for an estimated 73,000 Americans annually. We are riddled with widespread obesity, particularly among children, and an epidemic level of diabetes among adults.

Featuring interviews with such experts as Eric Schlosser (Fast Food Nation), Michael Pollan (The Omnivore's Dilemma, In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto) along with forward thinking social entrepreneurs like Stonyfield's Gary Hirshberg and Polyface Farms' Joel Salatin, Food, Inc. reveals surprising—and often shocking truths—about what we eat, how it's produced, who we have become as a nation and where we are going from here.

friends through thick & thin, corners & centers

My best friend and I went to a get-together last week and as soon as we walked in the house we were overtaken by the scent of brownies baking in the oven. I don't care how old you are brownies are always exciting. Although I know my best friend better than about anyone else, except her husband, I didn't know that she is a "corner" and not a "center" person. But there she was with crusty little brownie corners on her plate. It is like I hardly know her at all. Who is this stranger? (I am a center person, mainly because I don't like to eat scratchy things.) I have seen this pan before and always wondered who would ever want a whole pan of those........corners. Now I know.

early to bed, early to rise - makes me grumpy

It is summer and the kids (a.k.a. those people) are on vacation. Since I don't have to wake up to take them to school by 7:45 a.m. (a torturous time) it is getting harder and harder to wake up for work. Normally I am able to wake up without the assistance of an alarm but, times are a'changing (and I am usually asleep).

1.Digital Zen Alarm & Meditation Clock / Wake to the gentle Tibetan bell-like chimes of the digital zen alarm clock and start your day more renewed and refreshed. Use the countdown as a meditation clock or timer for yoga practice.












2.Clocky Alarm Clock / Clocky is the alarm clock that can jump down from up to 3 feet and run away and hide if you don't get out of bed on time. After one snooze cycle, Clocky will roll and move around the room with randomly patterned alarm beeps. (This "feature" can be disabled.)
















3.Early Bird Alarm Clock / Early Bird Alarm Clock will awaken you gently and sweetly with woodsy chirping and a little bird icon that pulses and glows.

Paging Dr. Chicken Scratch...

I heard with my very own ears, a mother tell another parent (that's right, I was eavesdropping) about a conversation with her son's teacher, who said her son's penmanship needed to improve. She responded to the teacher by saying, "His handwriting doesn't matter because he is going to be a doctor and everyone knows they have bad handwriting." Ok lady, I am sure that your little genius is going to be a doctor with his natural attention to detail, especially if the respect that you show his teachers is taken into account. Maybe the mother is right and he will be a doctor. Prediction: Due to his poor penmanship his prescriptions will be illegible, causing a man to get birth control pills instead of his Viagra prescription because the pharmacist won't be able to read his writing either. (7,000 people a year die and another 1.5 million people are injured as a result of doctors' sloppy handwriting)

Penmanship is important to me. I know that this is an area of interest that very few (normal) people care about. Children are taught to write in school but there is very little emphasis on penmanship. (one of my pet peeves) I know not everyone will have lovely penmanship and one person's chicken scratch is another's Spencerian script. An area of science that is interesting is handwriting analysis, how such seemingly small differences in handwriting are indicators of each writer's personality. I don't know how scientific it is but it is entertaining at the least.

There is a funny little website,
tul.com, where you can do a mini handwriting analysis - all you need is a regular pen and paper. (it takes less than 5 minutes and there's nothing to mail or scan) My results revealed that I am a reliable, extroverted, matter of fact, fun and cold person. (fun and cold- the analysis is creepy in it's accuracy) In any case, it's a fun little time waster.

sweet w.t.j.

1. pink short sleeve cardi
3. cropped boyfriend jean (I have to say that the term "boyfriend jean" bothers me, it implies that the girl wears the same size pants as her boyfriend. I don't care who you are, or how small you are, it never makes a girl feel good.)






Bora! Bora! Bora!

I don't like the beach, it is just too sandy. I always get a sunburn and swear that I can feel my skin rapidly aging. I am willing to suffer and sacrifice myself to visit Bora Bora. When I go, it will be necessary to stay in the little bungalows that stand over the lagoon. (Bora Bora Inter-Continental Le Moana Resort) I could stay in my bungalow, order room service (24 hours a day), sit on the patio, swim in the lagoon and very nearly avoid all other people. After a couple of days of solitude, I could snorkel, windsurf and sea kayak (all complimentary), then recover from my injuries (due to my own clumsiness not anyone else's negligence) back in my bungalow. Sounds like heaven.(photo credit)

Bag Lady

"Bag lady you gon hurt your back
Draggin' all them bags like that.
Bag lady you gon miss your bus
You can't hurry up cause you got too much stuff"

Lyrics from "Bag Lady" by Erykah Badu

I am a "bag lady" and have had these lyrics sung aloud when I enter a room. But I don't care. My love of huge, gigantic, airport security alarming purses is second to my love of shoes. Huge purses allow me to carry all my life's needs and up to 15 pounds of other miscellaneous items with me at all times. I am made fun of but, I am a walking emergency kit that everyone benefits from. I have cold medication (that I hand out to anyone that sniffles or coughs), Oxiclean spray (absolutely necessary when you wear white t-shirts), ipod, camera, phone (that I am told can be completely replaced with a new magical iPhone), gigantic wallet, receipts, mail, magazines and the list goes on. Unique accessories including a big, colorful purse helps make a w.t.j. (white t-shirt & jean) outfit special. My huge purses can also be used to keep people from invading my personal space, even if it means accidentally "bumping" a few people.









Crap Patch

I was unaware that the world's largest landfill is actually floating in the Pacific Ocean, stretches from the coast of California to Japan, is twice the size of Texas and the trash is 90 feet deep in some places. The majority (90%) of the "Great Pacific Garbage Patch" is made up of plastic that ended up in the ocean from locations as far away as Iowa, mostly as a result of littering. This crap patch is killing plankton, sea turtles and beluga whales. Beluga are dying form breast cancer that scientists believe is caused by the chemicals in the plastic waste. (It is kind of scary how much plastic we surround ourselves with.) So gross and easy to solve. I hate litterers, who do they think is supposed to pick up their mess? Octopus apparently.

chaising sleep

This isn't at my house but I think I will add it to my imaginary cottage's blueprints. The concrete chaise lounge can be hosed off easily and made really comfortable with cushions from any home improvement store. I imagine a moderately sized shade tree planted at the head of my chaise and I will also plant jasmine and lavender around the edges. So relaxing. This is genius in it's simplicity, I don't know why these aren't more common.

Actively Avoiding Exercise


I don't like to exercise. I hate gyms. I hate sweat. Walking is enjoyable but I don't like wearing tennis shoes. I am one of those flip flop people. I flippity flop around in the summer and winter, indoors and out, at work and at home. The "Fit Flops" are supposed to "tone my legs and thighs when I am running errands". I am pretty sure that my thighs are part of my legs but if the Fit Flop people think that my thighs are worth specific mention, maybe something more should be done. Also, I don't think that "running" errands sounds safe. Walking at a safe, leisurely pace is probably better. Maybe after a few weeks in these technologically advanced flip flops I will have the legs of a ballerina and apparently walk around town in my underwear and Fit Flops. (I would also need to grow about 5 inches to really reach my maximum ballerina leg potential.)

Do Something Creative Everyday

More than ago I came across the "Daily Monster" blog and since I last visited his blog things seem to have really taken off. The artist, Stefan Bucher, challenged himself to draw a monster everyday for 100 days. Sounds simple enough. He uses the same basic supplies every time; white paper, black ink, a toothbrush, a straw and black Sharpie markers. (every once in a while he mixes it up with a tan marker) He is off and going with a few drops of black ink, a swish of the toothbrush or a puff from the straw. But wait there's more, he films the whole thing. (each monster video is only a couple minutes long)

It is truly an entertaining and inspiring blog. I never feel like there is enough time in the day for me to do something creative, let alone daily. I think my problem is my belief that the time I would need to carve out of every day has to be significant. The monsters prove that 5 minutes or less could be more than enough.

Fly By Night


I have had my eye on this table lamp for a couple of years.  I really love the chandelier version of this lamp but it is too expensive. (even beyond my expert level rationalization and reasoning abilities)  I wouldn't dare buy the less expensive table lamp until my children are out of the house and their educations paid in full.  Perhaps I should save the lamp for my imaginary/dream cottage. 

Stretchy Pant Day Option


One of my best friends used to have a 100% jersey cotton requirement for the clothes she purchased.  The bottom line goal was everything needed to feel like pajamas.  Comfort was priority #1.  I completely understand why one would want to feel that comfortable all the time but it doesn't always make for the most attractive outfits.  This sweater may be about the softest garment ever made and cute!  Can it be?  It is also cashmere.  Is it a coincidence that the first four letters of cashmere spell out "cash"?  Perhaps it is a warning.  But to be able to walk around in a sweater/blanket on a "stretchy pant day" and not look like I am clinically depressed is priceless.  The bracelet is a jazzy touch that can be used as a distraction while I reach for a second helping of fruit tart with my free hand.

Rub A Dub Dub - I Hate to Scrub my Tub

I have a bath tub that I hardly use and hate to clean. Maybe I would feel better about cleaning it if I used it. Doubtful but it is worth a try.





Modern Day Nellie Olson





If Little House on the Prairie took place now Nellie Olson would be emo.   She would walk around Walnut Grove mean, bossy and sulky in all black, wearing too much eyeliner.  Her boyfriend would wear skinny jeans (that are oddly baggy in the butt area - not attractive), whose long hair (that looks smelly) would sweep very femininely over his eyes and who would also wear too much eyeliner.  At least that is the picture that comes to mind when I see this tunic (I would not tie the bow) with these shoes.  Obviously I like the outfit but didn't like Nellie.  (I loved LHP and really loved when all the kids would turn on Nellie.  Remember the time she pretended being crippled and Laura pushed her down the hill and into the creek?  Awesome.)

Note: This is a long shirt not a short dress.  Skinny jeans are necessary.


Say Cheese!

Lately I have had my picture taken more than ever before.  These pictures have been taken under duress, without authorization, distributed without my approval and have only served to reconfirm my reasons for avoiding all situations that are authenticated with photographic proof. But there may be hope. These products together (with all their powers combined) may prevent a future need for photoshop retouching and a possible move to a nunnery where modern technology is frowned upon.  (If a relocation to a nunnery is necessary I prefer to live where artisanal cheese is made.  Cheese can be my silver lining.)

1. MUF Foundation  (An oil-free medium-to-full-coverage liquid foundation that covers skin imperfections flawlessly while remaining invisible on-screen and in real life.)
2. MUF Elixir  (An innovative serum that instantly hydrates and adds radiance to the skin.)
3. DDF Silky C  (A technologically advanced combination of vitamin C and retinol with phyto-estrogens, lutein and DNA precursors provides nutrients for youthful cell renewal. It is suitable for all skin types including sensitive and damaged skin.)
4. Perricone MD NO Foundation (An age-fighting makeup that provides natural coverage and nonchemical SPF 30 protection)







Economic Attire


The good thing about dresses is that when you put it on you are done getting dressed.  You have a complete outfit, all with only one article of clothing. The hard part is finding a dress that isn't a glorified shirt with missing pants and finding a dress that is flattering on my hobbit body.

I like all the pleating, collar and the angle of the armholes on the white dress.  The beaded faux belt that hangs at an angle on the navy blue dress is interesting and unique.  In my not so humble opinion..............


Black-Hole Buttholes

Most times being nice is a recipe for happiness. But "nice" is also underrated and unappreciated. Especially at a time when everyone is supposed to be themselves and tell the "truth". One person's "truth" is another's torture, it can also be unnecessarily hurtful. Nice people trust that others will be nice in return. Nice people also tend to be taken advantage of. There is a point where people are "too nice" and neglect themselves because they are always in demand and can't say no (It isn't nice to say no). Nice people are helpful and can be counted on. Everyone enjoys a nice person. Nice people want to be around other nice people. Jerks want to be around nice people, not other jerks.

Sometimes being nice gets old especially when loud, grumpy, demanding squeaky wheels seem to be considered and appreciated more than the nice little mice. They are called "strong" or "powerful", though often as part of sermon about all the magic that makes them so magnificent given by themselves. These "strong" and "powerful" people aren't a joy to be around, let alone work with, especially if you are nice (which is seen as a weakness). They are black-hole buttholes (referred to as "BBs" from this point forward) that suck all the energy and joy out of everything around them. But given enough time and rope BBs will hang themselves, most often when they are telling their "truth". The implosion may take some time, BBs are charming, manipulative and usually limit their natural BB behavior to the nice mice. Once the dust clears after a BB detonation is usually the time when nice people are most appreciated and reconfirms why being nice is the way to go.

Leather Tuscadero


The combination of this jacketstriped scarf and harmonica necklace reminds me of Leather Tuscadero from "Happy Days".  Even though it borders on becoming a bit of a costume, I don't care.  I love it and if anyone has anything to say about it we can "take it to the mattresses".




Say What? Say Huh?

When I was younger my peers used to describe the way I spoke as "proper" (not always a compliment).  I didn't care and my mother was a teacher so there weren't other options.  Now with texting and reality t.v. it has become increasingly difficult to remember what proper english sounds or looks like.  When translation to proper english is necessary a friend referred me to UrbanDictionary.com.  Website visitors constantly update words and definitions with usage guidelines. Holla!

w.t.j. accessories

I think these would be an easy addition to a w.t.j. (white t-shirt & jeans) outfit.  Cute shoes are a must but after that the outfit is pretty much complete.